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Jimmy Bruen - Match Report against Banbridge

So here it was the big first round knockout match against Banbridge. Historically this round has been a stumbling block for our intrepid warriors. Consistently top qualifiers year after year but the next step always seemed a little too difficult to capture. But this year it was going to be different. This was our year. We had the team; we had the desire and it was to be a new dawn.

Er well no!!  Not even close! And never very likely with the clowns picked as replacements from the Q round. Like any good squad the Capt and V/Capt believed they had strength in depth, but this was not like any good squad or even mediocre one!! Never in the history of the game had our optimism been so misplaced.

So into the fray and let the battle commence!

Once again team “Rock” were led out by the inspirational pairing of:

Gordon “not sure about the towel” Goodfellow and Robert “Speedy Gonzales” Patterson

Off at a sprint, sublime golf ensured they took an early lead and won at a canter with much backslapping, mutual appreciation and smugness of having annihilated the opposition, who were incidentally 10 under gross at the end.  Rockmount 1 Banbridge 0


That was really one of only two high points (not including laughing at Stevie Orr’s golf swing or the sandwiches). But I was ordered to provide a full report, so…..

Next up was the wild card pairing of:

Stevie “the lip” Orr and Gary “the shammy” Gorman

A fine birdie at the first was followed by 13 of the wildest, crookedest holes ever seen!! Obviously Stevie’s lessons, like his football bets, hadn’t paid off and whilst playing the 14th managed to hit his drive further vertically than horizontally. A busy night at the Samaritans expected!! Their opposition were 15 under gross at the end of the match. Rockmount 1 Banbridge 1


And so to the core, the rock, the spine of the team in the 3 slot:

Paul “I’m young cause I have a trendy belt” Banford and Connor “He looks like a golfer - Kenny Perry” Drummond

With two of the clubs biggest hitters in the same pairing it only seemed a formality that victory would be assured. And so it was. Unfortunately, the big hitters were from Banbridge. As for our two clowns, 13 holes of total garbage was more than enough to get a result….Their opposition were 20 under gross at the end of the match. Rockmount 1 Banbridge 2

Next the only other highlight of a forgettable nights golf.

Out in the 4 slot:

Alan “iceman” Young and Paul “not as icy but still cool” Young.

A match that was destined to be a classic only because it managed to get passed the 14th hole! Our boys were never behind and with the smell of a creditable victory in the air, the noodle brothers were called in. Their opposition were 25 under gross at the end.

Finally, last and very much least was our film star last pairing

“Frank Wallace and Fra Grommit”

This was always going to be the crucial game, between two evenly matched sides. Even, only because there were 2 of them and 2 of us. From a golf point of view it was men against small plasticine TV characters! Defeat on the 14th was enevitable. Their opposition were 20 over at the end of the match. Rockmount 1 Banbridge 3

A special mention here must go to Brian “Greg Louganis” Heading for trying to distract the Banbridge boys winning putt, with his solo diving display!

So there it is, and as Churchill once said “never have so many, given so little and been beaten by so much”… (or something like that!).

Can’t add anything else apart from thanks to all those who played or tried to play or weren’t asked to play (Including the whole of the Sam Rutherford team - Poole/Lawther) and better luck next year.

The club needs players to support the teams and put themselves forward to play and no one goes out to play badly on purpose. I believe this is true because there is no way that some of those crap shots played tonight could have been played on purpose, even by Tiger!!!!


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