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Ulster Cup - Match Report Rockmount v Larne

Ulster Cup 2nd Round V Larne GC, 1st Leg

After receiving a Bye in the 1st Round we met Larne GC at Home for the 1st Leg, the team having justified their starting place with their results in the practices (and one Drumalig Cup match!!!).

 Team: Danny Montgomery, Paul Mearns, Michael Carson, Davy Harrison, Frank Wallace, Michael McCormick and Gary McShane (no need for birth certificates there, to see if they’re over 30!!)

Having meeted and greeted, the team Captain showed his legendary diplomatic skill when faced with a sandwich thief in a Shandon Park Jumper, seconds before challenging this infiltrator, the said scallywag was found to be the Doc’s dad, disaster No.1 averted.

On the 1st Tee, it was confirmed that not all the males from the Mearns Clan are members of Rockmount, as one appeared in the other side, birth certificate again not required, Grey, thin and wiry, talks a lot.

After seeing all the matches off, the Team Captain, despite protestations from No.1

Reserve, constant companion for the day and club flasher !!!! Sammy Milligan, braved the long and arduous hike to the 5th Tee without getting a buggy to see the “boys” (I say boys loosely – there’s that diplomacy again) go through, all with very favourable scores.

By the turn, it appeared that the Team Captain had pulled the proverbial rabbit from the bag with his team selection, Jose Mourinho may be the special one, but our team captain likes to keep things simple; that’s right, he’s the simple one, all matches were up with one approaching a Rockmount record. This leg promised to be over even quicker than the Jimmy Bruen 1st round matchplay (no sour grapes there then!!).

Without highlighting each of the individuals responsible, we eventually secured a 6.5 to 0.5 lead from the 1st leg and notwithstanding the "Weiss Angel’s” encouragement to seat the half-matcher at the “Table of Shame” we can feel very pleased with the Halftime score.

 Special Thanks to John Hinds for switching times.


2nd Round V Larne GC, 2nd Leg


The return Leg at Larne took place on a scorching Sunday 23rd, on the idyllic Islandmagee peninsula, with the bathers and jet skis frolicking in Brown’s Bay to the East and Ballylumford Power Station and the Larne/Stranraer Ferry to the West.

First out, making his debut for this season was the Silver Fox, he and his opponent set off at a remarkable pace (belying their advanced years) but the Fox’s ring – rustiness and the Larne/Stranraer Ferry tannoy (sp?) prevented him securing the much needed point.

 Next out was Jiminy Cricket, with his faithful Caddie, George of the Beach, after a “Clinker” of a drive at the first, he smote and he pearled his way round until he appeared over the hill like a Zulu warrior at Rorke’s Drift, this time arms waving, to signal his victory, history will show that he can not only talk the talk but he can also walk the walk.

Jiminy was joined in battle for that first point by the remaining “virgin”, The Butcher, he cut into his opponent sharper than the cresses on his strides and despite zooming to a healthy lead, was pegged back by 3 7’s in a row (copyright Mearnsy) and he was called in 3 up after 13.

Fourth out was the “Londonderry Aire”, this stalwart laying into the opposition like his namesake did to the Desert Fox. Luckily he was able to confirm that the markers where indeed to the middle of the Green and not the Centre, before he teed off!!

Fifth out where the Mearns sisters, a cruel twist of fate and paired them out against each other, any suggestion that both Team Captains had engineered this draw to save everyone else’s ears will be flatly denied.

The penultimate match brought our Braveheart out to battle, accompanied by his faithful manservant Crocodile Donaghadee, and despite getting his clubs pulled around the course and his opponent in a motorized buggy, a gap opened up from the match in front. Was he perhaps letting others secure the point and the resulting glory or he was just being the meticulous wise auld owl.

Last but not least was the Devil, obviously the sun shining off leather was catching in his eyes or his mind was occupied on securing souls rather than points, as he was embroiled in a struggle of Biblical proportions, he did of course get “their best player” again, and this match was destined to go to the wire before Michael Caine’s nemesis signalled the end.

And so to Bangor in the next round, check the noticeboard for times of matches and tune in to the website for more, alcohol induced ramblings.


The Simple One